


catching feelings

by johnyongclub



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles, Sort Of, so is johnny lol, taeyong is pretty dense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:54:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26597905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnyongclub/pseuds/johnyongclub
Summary: taeyong spends the weekend over at johnny's initially to film their video for their channel but doing so might have left taeyong questioning everything.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 14
Kudos: 229





	catching feelings

**Author's Note:**

> this is a part of my current twitter au that you can read [here](https://twitter.com/johnyongclub/status/1306297891179229184?s=20). you kinda have to read the au to know the context but it's okay if you don't!! it won't confuse you too much.
> 
> i did not proofread and this wasn't supposed to get this long but here we are. enjoy!

see, the thing about spending time with johnny is this; taeyong could easily forget that they're not even in the same friend group, let alone lovers. johnny is, in every sense of the phrase, a place of comfort. taeyong can't explain it even if there's a knife at his throat. johnny is just that comfortable.

he hadn't known johnny long, not as long as he'd known ten and the other boys, who had all been his friends since he was seven. yangyang was only two back then, along with jeno and haechan and ten was six, mark three. the amazing bit is that they were not related at all, just neighbors playing together at a barbeque party taeyong's parents had hosted.

ten and himself being oldest had giggled over the fact that they were all lee's, somehow the fact that they had the same family name tickled their bellies and even though the toddlers had been clueless, they never stopped playing together. 

clearly, he hadn't known johnny _that_ long, but three years is considered long, no? they'd been in a lot of the same classes since taeyong enrolled in theater arts and had hit it off as friends ever since. johnny is good at what he does and he's funny and cute when he wants to be and getting comfortable with his friend group wasn't hard for taeyong.

it's a thin line, really, between actually being liked by them and only liked because he's pretty close to johnny. he's clearly not too welcomed because he isn't in any kind of group with them but still, taeil is kind, yuta is friendly and the two youngest jungwoo and lucas are funny and smart.

could he really call johnny one of his best friends, though? he often wondered. they'd been doing this youtube thing for nearly two years since yuta suggested it. they'd hugged and kissed and acted as if they're head over heels in love and not once had it made taeyong or johnny feel awkward, just comfortable. taeyong assumes it's called professionalism. he's pretty pleased with himself.

he's just a tad bit nervous now, though, thanks to his so-called _friends_ , who'd made sure he remembered that the last time he slept in johnny's bed, both his housemates were home. taeil and yuta aren't home now and taeyong's starting to overthink.

dinner still went splendidly. johnny insisted he paid for taeyong again no matter how many times taeyong told him not to. when they'd gotten to johnny's apartment, they didn't waste any time in picking a movie to watch. taeyong gets a whole tub of ice cream, sealed and clearly just bought so he thanks johnny for getting it for him.

"i was out for groceries last night anyway so i thought i'd get one for you," johnny says casually, voice drowning out behind the sounds of popcorns in the machine he knows johnny had gotten for a birthday present last year. 

taeyong nods with a smile, watching as johnny returns his focus on the popcorn he was making. he clears his throat then and calls out loud enough for the taller to hear. "hey, since im not sleeping alone tonight, what do you think about watching horror?"

the machine stops and johnny comes back with a bowl of freshly made popcorn, an eyebrow raised and his smile almost mocking. "are you sure? are you gonna be waking me up at three to go to the bathroom?"

taeyong rolls his eyes, taking the remote. "shut up, you'll come with me anyway. you're like, lowkey in love with me or something."

johnny chokes on a popcorn, quickly pouring himself a glass of water that he downs in panic. taeyong laughs, reaching over to pat at johnny's back. the taller male takes a second to finally calm down, right before he glares at taeyong.

"i'm sorry!" taeyong exclaims with another laugh. "i didn't know you'd get so shocked."

with a huff, but a smile that tells taeyong they're okay, johnny places the glass down. "whatever. just pick a movie and if you wake me up i'm gonna pretend to be asleep."

"ass," taeyong scoffs playfully, picking up the remote and finding the movie he had in mind. 

he settles back as it plays and they both enjoy the ice cream and popcorn, going well into the night without once picking up their phones. somewhere in the middle of the movie, taeyong must have fallen asleep because when he wakes up at three in the morning, like johnny had predicted, he's in johnny's bed with the taller male nowhere in sight.

he finds johnny in the living room and decides not to wake him, a fond smile curled at his lips as he goes to the bathroom.

like he had said once, johnny is comfort and taeyong forgets that he was even nervous in the first place.

  
  


* * *

  
  


"good morning, sunshine~"

taeyong wakes with a shake of his shoulder, groaning because he doesn't want to wake up just yet and annoyed because he's pretty sure it's saturday and he's supposed to be able to sleep in. 

he groans again, pulling the blanket up over his face. "go away, i'm sleepy."

"babe," johnny's voice comes again, another shake to his shoulder. "c'mon, get up. i made you breakfast."

when taeyong decides to push the blanket off his face, he's met with a camera johnny is holding up. ah, here comes the show, taeyong thinks. johnny must have purposely taken this to get a genuine reaction of him being woken up. he's going to look like a mess when they edit this.

still, he manages to put on a smile as he waves at the camera before he pouts, naturally making grabby hands at johnny so the taller would help him off the bed. acting comes naturally and to settle into the character he had played well over two years is _easy_ , made easier because it’s with johnny. he takes johnny’s proffered hand and uses it to pull himself up and off the bed. when he’s on his feet, johnny doesn’t forget to press a kiss to his temple.

for the first time, taeyong feels his heartbeat pick up.

he clears his throat and goes to follow johnny out of the room, finding the dining table already set up with his favorite breakfast. all they’re a missing is a dog to complete the picture of a nice little family. the thought makes taeyong a little giddy. he thanks johnny with a beam and a kiss to his cheek, forgets the camera is turned on and forgets the fact that they are, at this very moment, simply acting.

they go about their day as usual. most of the time, they would have the camera set up in a way that would film them together, especially for ones like today, capturing a routine of some sort. they hadn’t really planned it so taeyong assumed there would be a lot of editing later on. he starts on his breakfast after a quick detour to the bathroom to brush his teeth, sitting across from johnny, who then picks up the camera to film taeyong.

“what’s the plan today?” johnny asks, popping a piece of bacon into his mouth.

taeyong swallows the food he was chewing before speaking up, smiling. “we have something to tell you guys, don’t we, baby? i’m kinda sad about it.”

he watches as johnny pouts, causing him to smile even though their viewers wouldn’t be able to see it. johnny speaks after a sigh, “yeah, me too. we’ll finish food up and get ready for the day before we announce, yeah?”

taeyong nods but to stay in character and not accidentally slip out of the headspace, he doesn’t bother dropping the act even after johnny pauses the camera. he finishes his breakfast and johnny lets him take his time for a shower. 

it doesn’t take them too long until they’re finally ready, seated in the living room on the floor with their camera set up in the way that would have them both in a frame. taeyong has his long fringe pinned up on each side of his head, fresh from the shower with only a light layer of makeup on as he smiles into the camera. johnny is seated next to him, his side pressed against taeyong’s, a familiar warmth taeyong has gotten so used to.

“we have something to say to you guys today,” johnny starts off, clearing his throat. “you wanna tell them, b?”

nodding, taeyong sighs. “as you guys know, we’re still very busy with college and we have lots of projects to get done and we’ve both decided we might not actually upload frequently. right, johnny?”

“mhm,” johnny nods to agree but not without a brief kiss to taeyong’s cheek. “like, yeah, we’ll put something up from time to time but until everything for school is done and over with, we won’t be very active. trust me, i’m as sad as you guys are. but we promise to keep you guys updated.”

“for sure,” taeyong agrees, unable to help the way his cheeks heat up with johnny presses another kiss onto his cheek, and then another and another until he’s left giggling, playfully shoving johnny’s face away. “stop, i’m trying to talk.”

johnny is beaming, the kind that makes his eyes turn into crescents and, because he knows the camera is running, taeyong leans in to steal a peck on his lips. normal. this is all normal. 

for a moment, there is a pause. it is quiet and long and johnny stares at his lips as if he wants to kiss him again and taeyong thinks it wouldn’t harm anyone if johnny just leans forward. he’s only a little bit disappointed when johnny laughs, proceeding to tell their viewers that they’ve filmed something for them to enjoy for the last time in the next few weeks or so. taeyong has no idea what they’ll do but he smiles and nods and blows kisses to the camera anyway.

after johnny turns off the camera for the time being, their eyes meet again. taeyong couldn’t help his smile and johnny’s is warm and genuinely happy. taeyong nearly lets himself kiss johnny again, except without a camera on their faces, there isn’t a single valid reason for him to do just that.

“let’s film another day in the life video,” johnny suggests after a beat of silence. “we could make lunch and then order dinner, or something. just the usual stuff. it wouldn’t be a lie entirely if we do that.”

taeyong finds himself nodding, smiling again. “you wanna make sundubu-jjigae?”

johnny’s eyes widened. “you know how to make it?”

“eh,” taeyong shrugs but he’s already getting up on his feet, offering his hand for johnny to take. “i’ve tried making it once or twice. i know it’s one of your favorites.”

this has johnny _beaming_ and he doesn’t need to repeat himself for johnny to get onto his feet, leading taeyong all the way to the kitchen and muttering something about having the ingredients they would need for the dish. taeyong’s just glad johnny doesn’t ask why he even tried making the dish in the first place.

  
  


* * *

  
  


making sundubu-jjigae turns out to be a lot more fun than taeyong remembered it to be. It's probably because when he had tried it the first time, he'd had a petty fight with ten and the second time, yangyang had gone an entire day away without telling him and he'd been worried to death (never mind the fact that yangyang is a capable adult).

it's easy to forget that they have a camera set up to film them; taeyong feels like he is just taeyong and johnny is just johnny and they aren't a pretend couple but possibly, quite likely, a real one.

what a terrifyingly scary thought to have.

he's good at pushing it aside, so he does just that. the dish turns out pretty well and johnny couldn't help expressing just how much he likes it and how it reminds him of the way his mom used to make it. as usual, the topic of his parents back in the u.s never fails to get johnny a little sentimental and taeyong has known him well enough by now to know just a little squeeze of his shoulder is enough comfort. 

they spend the day eating, talking about nothing and then taking too long to decide what they should have for dinner. some of it are filmed but private moments like johnny getting emotional or their conversations about college are probably going to be cut off from the final video. 

in the end, stuffed full with pizza that they finally decided to have, taeyong takes a quick shower and then johnny does the same before they each fall onto the mattress in johnny's room. taeyong thanks johnny's wallet for giving him the luxury of a queen-sized bed. not that johnny would make him sleep on the couch, but taeyong kind of doesn't want to sleep alone. that, and also the fact that he's pretty sure he heard johnny complain about his back. 

"you sure you're okay with me sleeping here?" johnny asks after about five minutes of silence, each of them on their phones. "i could sleep on the couch, it's no problem. i'd sleep in taeil's or yuta's rooms but they forgot to keep their doors unlocked."

"no, no," taeyong is quick to say, putting his phone on the nightstand. "i mean, yes, i'm sure. i don't mind it as long as you don't."

johnny hums, nodding. "i don't. the couch is gonna kill my back if i slept there again tonight."

taeyong laughs at this, making sure to turn off the lamp before he shifts onto his left so he's facing johnny, the wall-sized windows behind him. "i'm sorry. i'll just be here tonight and then i'm gone again tomorrow, no worries."

the taller of the two smiles, mirroring taeyong's move and laying on his right so they could see each other. "it's kinda nice having you around here."

"yeah?" taeyong giggles, cheeks hot. "i'll come over more often then, if that's the case."

"that'd be so nice," johnny says with a laugh. "taeil and yuta would go crazy if they got to try your sundubu-jjigae."

taeyong hums, feeling the unmistakable sign of his fatigue as his eyelids grow heavy. he nods his head, keeping his eyes open so he doesn't fall asleep too soon and smiling as he takes this time to admire johnny's features. he hadn't realized just how handsome johnny truly is. 

"you're so pretty," he says without thinking it through. maybe in the morning he'd question it, but now it feels like the right thing to say. 

johnny laughs, soft as he smiles. "don't lie. you're pretty."

this makes taeyong giggle, for some reason, intercepted when johnny's hand lifts to brush back his damp hair strands, tucking them behind his ear. he's tired from doing nothing but having fun today. it's the best kind of exhaustion and a good enough excuse to use when explaining the way his heart feels like it's about to jump out of his throat. 

"your sleep is talking," taeyong decides to say, finding himself scooting just a little closer. "sleep, we have a lot of editing to do tomorrow."

johnny mirrors him once more, moving closer. so close taeyong could bury his face into johnny's neck if he was brave. johnny's voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, "you sleep, i'm not too tired."

taeyong mouths an _'okay'_ with another nod of his head. it must be just past midnight, if he's seeing the digital clock correctly. he can't quite trust his eyes, let alone his heart and all these emotions he's feeling. he's about to fall asleep when johnny speaks again, sounding far-away and like a dream.

"can i kiss you, taeyong?" 

his eyes open again, meeting johnny's honey golds and he feels awake despite the thrumming drowsiness slowly taking over him. is it appropriate to give consent? it won't be the first time johnny's kissed him but they'd established that as long as there are cameras set up for filming, a kiss or two would always be consented.

what about now, though? there are no cameras and they're tucked in bed, ready to sleep. this isn't for the audience to see and this certainly isn't pretend. taeyong wonders if johnny would regret asking, wonders if he would regret letting him.

but despite all those thoughts running wild through his head, taeyong couldn't help his smile as he whispers his consent. "yes."

johnny returns it with a smile of his own, so bright in contrast to the lights now dimmed in the room. he leans in surely, with no doubt or question and when his mouth meets taeyong's, it feels a thousand times different, a million times better.

it's brief and over too soon. johnny pulls away slowly, leaving taeyong just a tad breathless, eyes closed and a hand subconsciously shifted to linger over johnny's face. when his eyes open again, they share another silence, one so intense and heavy that the only thing taeyong knows to do is kiss him again.

he kisses him, a sure press of his lips onto johnny's. it's deeper this time, mouth closing around the other's plush lower lip and he feels johnny doing the same with his upper one. it's funny how kissing works, how he naturally knows what to do. he thinks maybe it's because he's kissing _johnny._

they only part when he remembers that he needs to breathe, panting into each other's mouths and breaking out into a fit of giggles before taeyong leans in and buries his face into johnny's neck. it's warm and johnny smells like the soap he has in the bathroom. 

taeyong is beyond tired now, and he doesn't fight the urge to drape his arm over johnny's waist, snuggling up to him as if it was where he needs to be. maybe it is, he thinks as sleep slowly claims him.

maybe he's meant to be here.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> as always, find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/johnyongclub) or [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/johnyongclub)!


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